








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 345 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,607 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4092 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5923 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2603 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2989 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,479,009 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gooder Demoman | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | FredEx2ez | 57% | 79 |
| #3 | eepy | 57% | 428 |
| #4 | FredEx | 54% | 472 |
| #5 | Slicedbread | 54% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | [GOON] Old Nates For New | 52% | 266 |
| #7 | Avada Balenciaga | 51% | 213 |
| #8 | Fricken Oatmeal | 51% | 215 |
| #9 | gtv | 39% | 94 |
| #10 | Top Dawg | 35% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FredEx | 18 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Fricken Oatmeal | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Avada Balenciaga | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | [GOON] Old Nates For New | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Gooder Demoman | 7 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FredEx | 1449 | 0.15 | 35 min |
| #2 | eepy | 528 | 0.06 | 14 min |
| #3 | [GOON] Old Nates For New | 403 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | Avada Balenciaga | 403 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Fricken Oatmeal | 382 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eepy | +3.30 | 85 | 57 |
| #2 | Gooder Demoman | +2.30 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | FredEx2ez | +1.00 | 48 | 53 |
| #4 | [GOON] Old Nates For New | +0.20 | 66 | 43 |
| #5 | FredEx | -0.07 | 51 | 52 |





