








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6599 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4285 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5106 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5043 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4699 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,737,638 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunny Dogg | 59% | 101 |
| #2 | StealthPotato | 59% | 174 |
| #3 | snoop | 58% | 458 |
| #4 | Insane | 54% | 124 |
| #5 | eXce!!eNt | 53% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | 16 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | StealthPotato | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | eXce!!eNt | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Insane | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Sunny Dogg | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | 756 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #2 | eXce!!eNt | 357 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | StealthPotato | 299 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Sunny Dogg | 162 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | S64 | 151 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | +3.25 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | Dank Jesus | +1.68 | 72 | 61 |
| #3 | S64 | +0.86 | 64 | 58 |
| #4 | BlainosDias | +0.35 | 63 | 51 |
| #5 | eXce!!eNt | +0.32 | 56 | 61 |





