








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1454 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1059 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 630 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 848 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $551,786 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TucLTU | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | FleX | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Rhys | 73% | 48 |
| #4 | ChrisB | 69% | 48 |
| #5 | melvin | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Pilsner | 57% | 7 |
| #7 | Joe | 57% | 14 |
| #8 | p0wer | 56% | 9 |
| #9 | WILS♡N | 56% | 18 |
| #10 | para | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rhys | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | melvin | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | TucLTU | 2 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | p0wer | 2 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | FleX | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rhys | 226 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | ChrisB | 211 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | melvin | 58 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | WILS♡N | 55 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pilsner | 34 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @CRMJ | +2.67 | 91 | 62 |
| #2 | melvin | +1.41 | 73 | 55 |
| #3 | WILS♡N | +1.08 | 84 | 77 |
| #4 | ChrisB | +0.93 | 86 | 68 |
| #5 | Rhys | +0.40 | 73 | 74 |





