








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1133 | 33% |
| Smokes | 875 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 567 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 878 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $266,631 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TucLTU | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Djeibee | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Sondre R | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | Gubka Bob | 80% | 5 |
| #5 | Rhys | 78% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | WILS♡N | 71% | 7 |
| #8 | @CRMJ | 69% | 48 |
| #9 | Joe | 55% | 11 |
| #10 | melvin | 50% | 14 |
| #11 | Pilsner | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rhys | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | melvin | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | TucLTU | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rhys | 181 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #2 | @CRMJ | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | きつね Slooshie | 46 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #4 | WILS♡N | 31 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | melvin | 29 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @CRMJ | +3.32 | 91 | 58 |
| #2 | Djeibee | +1.42 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | ChrisB | +1.35 | 88 | 66 |
| #4 | きつね Slooshie | +1.17 | 94 | 64 |
| #5 | melvin | +1.02 | 75 | 49 |





