








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 688 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,493 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1330 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1100 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1473 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1590 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $639,121 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 590 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rhys | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Pilsner | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | @CRMJ | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | ChrisB | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | melvin | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Krico | 45% | 71 |
| #9 | börsägarn | 42% | 50 |
| #10 | p0wer | 40% | 10 |
| #11 | Blå Dörren | 35% | 34 |
| #12 | para | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krico | 14 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Junky Johnson | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Sean Bridon | 7 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | börsägarn | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Blå Dörren | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Junky Johnson | 613 | 0.34 | 17 min |
| #2 | Krico | 167 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | melvin | 139 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pilsner | 73 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sean Bridon | 72 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @CRMJ | +5.13 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | Joe | +2.24 | 70 | 57 |
| #3 | Krico | +1.43 | 79 | 39 |
| #4 | para | +0.54 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | melvin | +0.38 | 73 | 63 |





