








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 539 | 19% |
| Smokes | 819 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 849 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 627 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,798 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trayder | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | rMo | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Kairos | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | dnz ツ | 49% | 86 |
| #5 | royal /// | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | elesde | 43% | 79 |
| #7 | zuLE * | 43% | 63 |
| #8 | Huxer | 38% | 29 |
| #9 | Botoxin | 26% | 23 |
| #10 | Andi | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elesde | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | royal /// | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | dnz ツ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Trayder | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dnz ツ | 273 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | elesde | 197 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | zuLE * | 120 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Trayder | 67 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | royal /// | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trayder | +2.60 | 81 | 51 |
| #2 | dnz ツ | +1.51 | 75 | 74 |
| #3 | zuLE * | +0.78 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | elesde | +0.07 | 79 | 69 |
| #5 | Botoxin | -1.09 | 86 | 59 |





