








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 849 | 26% |
| Smokes | 944 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 465 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1011 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $699,491 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andi | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Kairos | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Trayder | 60% | 50 |
| #4 | melløw | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | elesde | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | zuLE * | 48% | 99 |
| #9 | rMo | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | blAkeMusic | 38% | 29 |
| #11 | Optimistic | 37% | 19 |
| #12 | Cusi | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trayder | 7 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | royal /// | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | melløw | 2 | 0.0150 |
| #4 | dnz ツ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | zuLE * | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dnz ツ | 415 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | zuLE * | 218 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | royal /// | 150 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Trayder | 147 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | elesde | 70 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trayder | +2.93 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | zuLE * | +0.71 | 73 | 69 |
| #3 | elesde | +0.26 | 75 | 67 |
| #4 | dnz ツ | +0.26 | 73 | 73 |
| #5 | royal /// | -0.02 | 64 | 64 |





