








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 232 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2286 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1699 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2614 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1055 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,994 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 894 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neomoth | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Parker | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | GЯANo- | 56% | 57 |
| #4 | Zadrott | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | GucciYo | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Zadrott | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | GucciYo | 47% | 38 |
| #6 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | X_x | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | KaNaR | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GЯANo- | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Zadrott | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Parker | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | neomoth | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GЯANo- | 334 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #2 | GucciYo | 239 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #3 | Zadrott | 168 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | Parker | 99 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 69 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GЯANo- | +3.10 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | Parker | +2.22 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | ReveN | +1.57 | 86 | 57 |
| #4 | neomoth | -0.33 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | Loulou_le_Wiener | -1.05 | 68 | 64 |





