








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 225 matches | ||
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3232 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3489 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2400 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2434 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,753,182 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parker | 57% | 79 |
| #2 | neomoth | 53% | 66 |
| #3 | K T B | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | GЯANo- | 51% | 160 |
| #5 | ReveN | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | GЯANo- | 51% | 160 |
| #5 | ReveN | 50% | 54 |
| #6 | X_x | 49% | 163 |
| #7 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 49% | 84 |
| #8 | GucciYo | 47% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GЯANo- | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Parker | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | X_x | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | GucciYo | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GЯANo- | 827 | 0.26 | 23 min |
| #2 | GucciYo | 717 | 0.29 | 23 min |
| #3 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 295 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Parker | 293 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | X_x | 230 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parker | +3.53 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | GЯANo- | +3.17 | 80 | 73 |
| #3 | ReveN | +1.05 | 82 | 62 |
| #4 | Loulou_le_Wiener | +0.72 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | KaNaR | -0.61 | 52 | 63 |





