








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 509 matches | ||
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8384 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8575 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10564 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4898 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,329,021 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 669 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neomoth | 58% | 315 |
| #2 | KaNaR | 57% | 79 |
| #3 | GЯANo- | 55% | 252 |
| #4 | ReveN | 55% | 62 |
| #5 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 54% | 397 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 44 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | GЯANo- | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | ELMER | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Floofsoup_^ | 6 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | GucciYo | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 1372 | 0.17 | 35 min |
| #2 | GЯANo- | 1342 | 0.26 | 35 min |
| #3 | GucciYo | 848 | 0.29 | 28 min |
| #4 | ELMER | 379 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | neomoth | 316 | 0.05 | 9 min |





