








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 799 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 398 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7535 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6268 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 9439 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 8085 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,160,953 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 644 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReveN | 61% | 74 |
| #2 | Parker | 58% | 315 |
| #3 | GucciYo | 57% | 122 |
| #4 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 54% | 210 |
| #5 | GЯANo- | 54% | 343 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Parker | 58% | 315 |
| #3 | GucciYo | 57% | 122 |
| #4 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 54% | 210 |
| #5 | GЯANo- | 54% | 343 |
| #6 | X_x | 53% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parker | 34 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 19 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | GЯANo- | 17 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | GucciYo | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ReveN | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GЯANo- | 1906 | 0.27 | 54 min |
| #2 | Parker | 1260 | 0.19 | 29 min |
| #3 | GucciYo | 754 | 0.30 | 25 min |
| #4 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 730 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #5 | ReveN | 239 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parker | +3.00 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | GЯANo- | +1.19 | 77 | 73 |
| #3 | ReveN | +0.47 | 84 | 61 |
| #4 | Loulou_le_Wiener | -0.54 | 77 | 67 |
| #5 | neomoth | -0.54 | 72 | 60 |





