








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 387 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 621 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12570 | 33% |
| Smokes | 9544 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9830 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6005 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $873,408 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 727 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zadrott | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | neomoth | 57% | 122 |
| #3 | ReveN | 52% | 109 |
| #4 | GЯANo- | 50% | 290 |
| #5 | ReveN | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parker | 22 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | GЯANo- | 14 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 13 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | K T B | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | KaNaR | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GЯANo- | 1666 | 0.29 | 48 min |
| #2 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 674 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | Parker | 581 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #4 | X_x | 569 | 0.08 | 20 min |
| #5 | ReveN | 358 | 0.16 | 12 min |





