








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 524 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,310 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5479 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6894 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6910 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5027 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,577,911 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 465 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4wN | 59% | 44 |
| #2 | R0m3 AbYssUs | 54% | 123 |
| #3 | Morten | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | eNergy | 54% | 154 |
| #5 | Hamlet | 54% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Hamlet | 54% | 54 |
| #6 | Xeno | 51% | 217 |
| #7 | ernold_ | 48% | 92 |
| #8 | it's is my life - jon bovi | 46% | 168 |
| #9 | PHIL FOODEN | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xeno | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | it's is my life - jon bovi | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Morten | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | eNergy | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | R0m3 AbYssUs | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | it's is my life - jon bovi | 579 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | ernold_ | 452 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #3 | Xeno | 400 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | eNergy | 136 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | p4wN | 115 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xeno | +2.06 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | Morten | +1.42 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | p4wN | +0.69 | 71 | 55 |
| #4 | R0m3 AbYssUs | +0.61 | 75 | 53 |
| #5 | eNergy | +0.30 | 56 | 65 |





