








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 646 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5764 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5583 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4602 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6124 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3654 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,588,858 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 548 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wyatt | 48% | 134 |
| #2 | Goat cheese salad | 48% | 44 |
| #3 | Lili* | 43% | 122 |
| #4 | Stabby Charly | 39% | 119 |
| #5 | Ouawa | 37% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | رایان | 37% | 41 |
| #8 | jeuls | 36% | 183 |
| #9 | (Pro$TY) | 33% | 218 |
| #10 | José Mové | 31% | 84 |
| #11 | Wombat | 30% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ouawa | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | jeuls | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Wyatt | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Stabby Charly | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | (Pro$TY) | 5 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeuls | 457 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Ouawa | 326 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Lili* | 249 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Wyatt | 238 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | (Pro$TY) | 168 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goat cheese salad | +3.64 | 72 | 70 |
| #2 | Wyatt | +2.33 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | Lili* | +1.46 | 63 | 55 |
| #4 | jeuls | +0.97 | 80 | 65 |
| #5 | Paranoïak | -0.42 | 37 | 62 |





