








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1194 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14286 | 33% |
| Smokes | 11223 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10343 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6848 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,288,456 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 481 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goat cheese salad | 48% | 89 |
| #2 | Lili* | 45% | 309 |
| #3 | Ouawa | 44% | 440 |
| #4 | Stabby Charly | 43% | 458 |
| #5 | (Pro$TY) | 40% | 592 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | sKaL | 38% | 77 |
| #9 | José Mové | 36% | 101 |
| #10 | Paranoïak | 36% | 183 |
| #11 | Roeinr | 35% | 131 |
| #12 | Wombat | 33% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ouawa | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | (Pro$TY) | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Wyatt | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Stabby Charly | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Lili* | 6 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lili* | 268 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ouawa | 240 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | (Pro$TY) | 180 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #4 | Wyatt | 141 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Stabby Charly | 121 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goat cheese salad | +2.69 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | Wyatt | +1.54 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | sKaL | +0.82 | 51 | 64 |
| #4 | jeuls | +0.63 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | Ouawa | +0.52 | 54 | 56 |





