








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1540 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13655 | 30% |
| Smokes | 14180 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 7920 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 9582 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,543,532 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 716 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Sweetie | 40% | 380 |
| #10 | Okko | 38% | 201 |
| #11 | (Pro$TY) | 38% | 427 |
| #12 | Stabby Charly | 35% | 277 |
| #13 | رایان | 30% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrPtiBiscuit | 38 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Ouawa | 36 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Sweetie | 25 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | jeuls | 21 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | (Pro$TY) | 20 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ouawa | 1054 | 0.09 | 24 min |
| #2 | jeuls | 747 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #3 | (Pro$TY) | 504 | 0.06 | 17 min |
| #4 | Moustik | 478 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #5 | Okko | 431 | 0.10 | 13 min |





