








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,165 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1459 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2399 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2736 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1571 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,073,777 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ouawa | 38% | 104 |
| #2 | sKaL | 36% | 36 |
| #3 | Stabby Charly | 36% | 161 |
| #4 | jeuls | 36% | 101 |
| #5 | blow my mind not my cock please | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Paranoïak | 31% | 84 |
| #9 | Wyatt | 30% | 94 |
| #10 | Wombat | 25% | 91 |
| #11 | رایان | 21% | 24 |
| #12 | Roeinr | 14% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wyatt | 12 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | (Pro$TY) | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Stabby Charly | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Lili* | 7 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | jeuls | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeuls | 255 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ouawa | 201 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | (Pro$TY) | 179 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | sKaL | 138 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Stabby Charly | 137 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blow my mind not my cock please | +6.96 | 68 | 63 |
| #2 | sKaL | +3.48 | 52 | 61 |
| #3 | Wyatt | +3.29 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | jeuls | +1.92 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | Lili* | -0.40 | 52 | 45 |





