








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 466 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 229 matches | ||
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4479 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3943 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3160 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2957 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,500,569 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wrimel | 65% | 48 |
| #2 | topkek | 64% | 53 |
| #3 | wurmsoN | 61% | 103 |
| #4 | Jerbaut | 61% | 220 |
| #5 | VaPoR™ | 60% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jerbaut | 61% | 220 |
| #5 | VaPoR™ | 60% | 88 |
| #6 | paul | 57% | 126 |
| #7 | Godypmu | 54% | 199 |
| #8 | JONAZZZ | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godypmu | 18 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | wurmsoN | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Jerbaut | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | paul | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Wrimel | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerbaut | 1228 | 0.26 | 38 min |
| #2 | wurmsoN | 656 | 0.30 | 17 min |
| #3 | Godypmu | 601 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #4 | paul | 347 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | topkek | 194 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | topkek | +2.49 | 85 | 70 |
| #2 | xDemixD | +1.72 | 65 | 59 |
| #3 | Jerbaut | +1.51 | 60 | 86 |
| #4 | VaPoR™ | +0.85 | 93 | 55 |
| #5 | wurmsoN | +0.58 | 68 | 79 |





