








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 838 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 527 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4961 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6394 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4616 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5179 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,778,640 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 385 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SCROBOT | 50% | 543 |
| #7 | JohnBlaze | 50% | 451 |
| #8 | abK` | 49% | 189 |
| #9 | BigSleezy | 48% | 82 |
| #10 | theory^ | 47% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnBlaze | 9 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | SCROBOT | 7 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | sLitH3rs | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | abK` | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | BigSleezy | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnBlaze | 1869 | 0.20 | 52 min |
| #2 | SCROBOT | 666 | 0.06 | 16 min |
| #3 | sLitH3rs | 494 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | abK` | 385 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | BigSleezy | 199 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bernie | +1.68 | 74 | 59 |
| #2 | SCROBOT | +1.21 | 77 | 63 |
| #3 | abK` | +0.80 | 56 | 59 |
| #4 | B.N.M | -0.65 | 49 | 62 |
| #5 | JohnBlaze | -0.87 | 35 | 80 |





