










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1979 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 917 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8065 | 20% |
| Smokes | 9774 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 12009 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 9594 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,862,439 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 584 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | v!Per | 53% | 81 |
| #2 | BigSleezy | 52% | 151 |
| #3 | sLitH3rs | 51% | 505 |
| #4 | JohnBlaze | 51% | 577 |
| #5 | bernie | 50% | 543 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bernie | 16 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Mia Khalifa | 15 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | JohnBlaze | 11 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | sLitH3rs | 11 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | BigSleezy | 7 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnBlaze | 2455 | 0.20 | 70 min |
| #2 | sLitH3rs | 1217 | 0.11 | 35 min |
| #3 | bernie | 1153 | 0.10 | 29 min |
| #4 | abK` | 529 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | Mia Khalifa | 453 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCROBOT | +1.96 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | abK` | +1.17 | 57 | 58 |
| #3 | bernie | +1.09 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | sLitH3rs | -0.12 | 59 | 67 |
| #5 | theory^ | -0.14 | 52 | 63 |





