








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1468 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1265 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1225 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1803 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $916,650 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bernie | 55% | 93 |
| #2 | B.N.M | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | SCROBOT | 50% | 108 |
| #4 | JohnBlaze | 47% | 232 |
| #5 | abK` | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | JohnBlaze | 47% | 232 |
| #5 | abK` | 46% | 48 |
| #6 | theory^ | 38% | 47 |
| #7 | 𝖛𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖆𝖓 | 34% | 61 |
| #8 | sLitH3rs | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnBlaze | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | bernie | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | 𝖛𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖆𝖓 | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | SCROBOT | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | abK` | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnBlaze | 724 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | bernie | 192 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | SCROBOT | 132 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | abK` | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | sLitH3rs | 95 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bernie | +1.87 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | SCROBOT | +0.94 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | abK` | +0.89 | 58 | 64 |
| #4 | JohnBlaze | +0.09 | 39 | 76 |
| #5 | B.N.M | -0.07 | 51 | 63 |





