








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 515 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,222 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3248 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4676 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2570 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4728 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,143,507 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 565 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wadz | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | Sto1te | 64% | 45 |
| #3 | sLitH3rs | 53% | 116 |
| #4 | B.N.M | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | bernie | 49% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Geo6 | 46% | 54 |
| #12 | Swifteh^ | 46% | 48 |
| #13 | Nerdy | 41% | 27 |
| #14 | Bluntman | 33% | 27 |
| #15 | 𝖛𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖆𝖓 | 22% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bernie | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | SCROBOT | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | SparX | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Nerdy | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | JohnBlaze | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnBlaze | 1114 | 0.21 | 32 min |
| #2 | bernie | 452 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | SCROBOT | 291 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | sLitH3rs | 262 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Liger Rider | 250 | 0.34 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sto1te | +4.01 | 64 | 67 |
| #2 | Liger Rider | +2.28 | 61 | 77 |
| #3 | SCROBOT | +1.18 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | SparX | +1.13 | 76 | 60 |
| #5 | bernie | +1.08 | 72 | 63 |





