








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1047 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 499 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 149 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9890 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,568 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13181 | 26% |
| Smokes | 14213 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 11134 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 12040 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,767,580 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shoosT | 58% | 99 |
| #2 | Funds Are Safu | 53% | 175 |
| #3 | fRooSEN | 49% | 204 |
| #4 | Redzalio | 49% | 374 |
| #5 | qt | 49% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redzalio | 1530 | 0.19 | 39 min |
| #2 | qt | 714 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | Echo | 537 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | shoosT | 455 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #5 | Blaze | 310 | 0.14 | 8 min |





