








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,197 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1970 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2079 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2412 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1736 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,053,587 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Pheoniks | 45% | 56 |
| #14 | m0rr0w | 44% | 25 |
| #15 | MaWi | 44% | 82 |
| #16 | dr gaff | 42% | 26 |
| #17 | XistEnCe^ | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaWi | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Fur | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Patrick | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | k0mix | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | XistEnCe^ | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fur | 421 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Patrick | 185 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | MaWi | 171 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Macht | 113 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | m0rr0w | 102 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Smurf | +3.22 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | mARius | +3.19 | 73 | 41 |
| #3 | dr gaff | +2.39 | 64 | 69 |
| #4 | Krueger | +2.21 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | Daddy Derank | +1.69 | 84 | 66 |





