








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 609 | 17% |
| Smokes | 836 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1315 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 930 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $150,180 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 92% | 12 |
| #2 | Tough Spudder | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | J Dog | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | Rocka | 57% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ☠CLIT Eastwood☠ | 53% | 19 |
| #9 | MajorMatt | 52% | 29 |
| #10 | Lars | 50% | 6 |
| #11 | ☆ DME | 50% | 16 |
| #12 | RELiNQUiSH | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Rocka | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | House | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ☠CLIT Eastwood☠ | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | RELiNQUiSH | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ШidзSщiиg| MixolydianMatty | 52 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | J Dog | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | RELiNQUiSH | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Rocka | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Αʀ | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +4.97 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | House | +3.21 | 59 | 46 |
| #3 | Tough Spudder | +2.26 | 73 | 42 |
| #4 | Αʀ | +1.70 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | RELiNQUiSH | +1.35 | 68 | 63 |





