








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 422 | 14% |
| Smokes | 609 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1090 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 855 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,540 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ΰΉΫ£ΫβaiΟ.#β¨ | 50% | 8 |
| #9 | EvO#1 | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | Chris.kyle | 49% | 35 |
| #11 | Sw1sh | 48% | 46 |
| #12 | βπͺπππ | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #PatGum | 8 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Sw1sh | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Chris.kyle | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Jan. | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 2 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris.kyle | 162 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jan. | 99 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Hakuna.#<3 | 74 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | #PatGum | 65 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sw1sh | 55 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | +5.99 | 96 | 48 |
| #2 | Sw1sh | +2.40 | 86 | 49 |
| #3 | Hakuna.#<3 | +1.35 | 83 | 73 |
| #4 | EvO#1 | +1.01 | 68 | 39 |
| #5 | Chris.kyle | +0.90 | 68 | 61 |





