








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 474 | 21% |
| Smokes | 698 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 596 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 466 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $189,506 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xstatic | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | n0x | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | ben | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | MrMeeseeks | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | The Silence | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | The Silence | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | italian plumber | 45% | 20 |
| #7 | LeChuck | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | RAF Bloodora | 40% | 20 |
| #9 | Maduser | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ben | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | italian plumber | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | The Silence | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Xstatic | 1 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ben | 92 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | RAF Bloodora | 69 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | MrMeeseeks | 51 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | italian plumber | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | n0x | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAF Bloodora | +2.54 | 66 | 71 |
| #2 | ben | +1.69 | 80 | 80 |
| #3 | italian plumber | +0.80 | 78 | 79 |
| #4 | LeChuck | -0.17 | 34 | 77 |
| #5 | haematoni | -0.22 | 70 | 66 |





