








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3976 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4114 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2006 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2171 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,499,731 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salex | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | TheScatman | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | 𝄞 Shaddiix ♫ d(-_-)b ♫ | 53% | 74 |
| #4 | The Silence | 53% | 80 |
| #5 | italian plumber | 52% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | 黒鉄 | 48% | 27 |
| #9 | n0x | 48% | 98 |
| #10 | TREFFNIXX | 47% | 108 |
| #11 | MrMeeseeks | 46% | 211 |
| #12 | CoN | 44% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | italian plumber | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | ben | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | TREFFNIXX | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | 𝄞 Shaddiix ♫ d(-_-)b ♫ | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | CoN | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ben | 925 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #2 | MrMeeseeks | 568 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | italian plumber | 451 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | CoN | 288 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | TREFFNIXX | 266 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 黒鉄 | +2.90 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | ben | +1.87 | 77 | 78 |
| #3 | RAF Bloodora | +1.77 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | Salex | +1.32 | 83 | 24 |
| #5 | 𝄞 Shaddiix ♫ d(-_-)b ♫ | +1.09 | 76 | 62 |





