








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Faceit | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5178 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6310 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5057 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3914 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,233,908 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝄞 Shaddiix ♫ d(-_-)b ♫ | 53% | 58 |
| #2 | Rapi ♫ | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | RAF Bloodora | 52% | 168 |
| #4 | MrMeeseeks | 50% | 176 |
| #5 | ben | 50% | 266 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ben | 50% | 266 |
| #6 | The Silence | 48% | 54 |
| #7 | CoN | 48% | 135 |
| #8 | TREFFNIXX | 48% | 73 |
| #9 | n0x | 47% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ben | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | MrMeeseeks | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | 𝄞 Shaddiix ♫ d(-_-)b ♫ | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | RAF Bloodora | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | TREFFNIXX | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ben | 745 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | RAF Bloodora | 460 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | MrMeeseeks | 457 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Rapi ♫ | 193 | 0.34 | 6 min |
| #5 | 𝄞 Shaddiix ♫ d(-_-)b ♫ | 164 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ben | +2.29 | 77 | 77 |
| #2 | 𝄞 Shaddiix ♫ d(-_-)b ♫ | +2.19 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | RAF Bloodora | +1.98 | 66 | 68 |
| #4 | TREFFNIXX | +0.38 | 90 | 66 |
| #5 | Rapi ♫ | +0.01 | 63 | 76 |





