








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 903 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 472 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3964 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5215 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5631 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5292 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,886,653 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1855 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoox | 68% | 77 |
| #2 | BiSHiKoN | 65% | 96 |
| #3 | cimota | 62% | 95 |
| #4 | deqny | 60% | 81 |
| #5 | ππͺπ£π | 60% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ππͺπ£π | 60% | 189 |
| #6 | starman | 58% | 67 |
| #7 | huska | 56% | 73 |
| #8 | γ
nice | 53% | 185 |
| #9 | saffe | 51% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | γ
nice | 19 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | deqny | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Zoox | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | ππͺπ£π | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | BiSHiKoN | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | γ
nice | 585 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | cimota | 480 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #3 | ππͺπ£π | 394 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | huska | 278 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | deqny | 238 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zoox | +4.23 | 92 | 59 |
| #2 | deqny | +4.18 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | starman | +4.15 | 88 | 61 |
| #4 | ππͺπ£π | +2.86 | 77 | 66 |
| #5 | γ
nice | +2.01 | 73 | 70 |





