








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1092 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1494 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1591 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1306 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $676,773 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deqny | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | BiSHiKoN | 80% | 25 |
| #3 | huska | 77% | 44 |
| #4 | jaz | 68% | 77 |
| #5 | ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฎ๐๐ | 67% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฎ๐๐ | 67% | 21 |
| #6 | ใ
nice | 62% | 21 |
| #7 | saffe | 60% | 10 |
| #8 | ๐๐ช๐ฃ๐ | 57% | 84 |
| #9 | sharkie | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deqny | 4 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | huska | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | BiSHiKoN | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | ๐๐ช๐ฃ๐ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | jaz | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | huska | 149 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | ๐๐ช๐ฃ๐ | 144 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | jaz | 109 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | ใ
nice | 80 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฎ๐๐ | 48 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deqny | +5.36 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | Zoox | +3.19 | 91 | 60 |
| #3 | ๐๐ช๐ฃ๐ | +1.73 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | huska | +0.95 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฎ๐๐ | +0.68 | 75 | 61 |





