








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 421 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9149 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8097 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6656 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5846 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $984,896 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | γ
nice | 65% | 62 |
| #2 | jaz | 62% | 95 |
| #3 | Awwmimi | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | ππͺπ£π | 59% | 46 |
| #5 | BiSHiKoN | 58% | 545 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ππͺπ£π | 59% | 46 |
| #5 | BiSHiKoN | 58% | 545 |
| #6 | Smegz | 56% | 43 |
| #7 | saffe | 56% | 52 |
| #8 | greap | 54% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiSHiKoN | 14 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | greap | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | γ
nice | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | jaz | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | saffe | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiSHiKoN | 1149 | 0.10 | 31 min |
| #2 | γ
nice | 206 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | jaz | 162 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | ππͺπ£π | 119 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Smegz | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππͺπ£π | +2.16 | 79 | 70 |
| #2 | BiSHiKoN | +1.23 | 87 | 71 |
| #3 | γ
nice | +1.01 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | greap | +0.70 | 81 | 47 |
| #5 | cimota | +0.27 | 73 | 71 |





