








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1079 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 620 matches | ||
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7139 | 21% |
| Smokes | 8729 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 11276 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 6315 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,608,762 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 702 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaz | 65% | 96 |
| #2 | saffe | 61% | 67 |
| #3 | cimota | 58% | 545 |
| #4 | greap | 56% | 125 |
| #5 | Smegz | 54% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaz | 65% | 96 |
| #2 | saffe | 61% | 67 |
| #3 | cimota | 58% | 545 |
| #4 | greap | 56% | 125 |
| #5 | Smegz | 54% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cimota | 8 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | greap | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | jaz | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | saffe | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Smegz | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cimota | 2586 | 0.22 | 64 min |
| #2 | greap | 148 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | jaz | 131 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Smegz | 128 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | saffe | 121 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiSHiKoN | +1.24 | 86 | 72 |
| #2 | greap | +0.30 | 82 | 47 |
| #3 | cimota | +0.22 | 73 | 72 |
| #4 | Smegz | -0.38 | 83 | 69 |
| #5 | saffe | -0.74 | 51 | 74 |





