








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,407 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2012 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1546 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1381 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1468 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $418,890 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grave | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | seb-a-licious | 83% | 12 |
| #3 | s1pp0 | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | salty pancakes | 61% | 77 |
| #5 | Klay Thompson | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Klay Thompson | 59% | 17 |
| #6 | jchancE | 58% | 62 |
| #7 | MarKyMarK | 55% | 11 |
| #8 | baba | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | REKMEISTER | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jchancE | 11 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | s1pp0 | 11 | 0.0293 |
| #3 | salty pancakes | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | REKMEISTER | 4 | 0.0199 |
| #5 | Klay Thompson | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | salty pancakes | 325 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | jchancE | 255 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | Klay Thompson | 57 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | seb-a-licious | 49 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Grave | 47 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REKMEISTER | +3.42 | 85 | 47 |
| #2 | seb-a-licious | +2.66 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | jchancE | +2.60 | 87 | 60 |
| #4 | Grave | +2.46 | 82 | 56 |
| #5 | mds | +1.59 | 83 | 64 |





