








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 843 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Faceit | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5976 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5182 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4136 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4910 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $579,880 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seb-a-licious | 78% | 36 |
| #2 | jchancE | 74% | 175 |
| #3 | LaffyTs | 63% | 70 |
| #4 | mds | 61% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seb-a-licious | 78% | 36 |
| #2 | jchancE | 74% | 175 |
| #3 | LaffyTs | 63% | 70 |
| #4 | mds | 61% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jchancE | 28 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | mds | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | LaffyTs | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | seb-a-licious | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jchancE | 606 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | mds | 282 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | LaffyTs | 146 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | seb-a-licious | 144 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jchancE | +4.14 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | LaffyTs | +3.91 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | salty pancakes | +2.84 | 84 | 65 |
| #4 | seb-a-licious | +1.70 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | mds | +0.35 | 81 | 60 |





