








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1008 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4536 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7291 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 5003 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3545 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,365 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3008 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #A24 Xx_Oh Ziic_xX | 72% | 39 |
| #2 | diver6ty | 68% | 77 |
| #3 | obamasexgaming2003 | 60% | 128 |
| #4 | mikeart405 | 59% | 106 |
| #5 | no Zoom. Professionals. | 53% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obamasexgaming2003 | 23 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | no Zoom. Professionals. | 16 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | redd | 10 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | diver6ty | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | grosnoscop #N26 | 9 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obamasexgaming2003 | 532 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | no Zoom. Professionals. | 433 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | diver6ty | 297 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | mikeart405 | 251 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | redd | 213 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diver6ty | +6.36 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | obamasexgaming2003 | +1.71 | 59 | 54 |
| #3 | escortgirl - NSCP | +0.50 | 55 | 67 |
| #4 | #A24 Xx_Oh Ziic_xX | +0.46 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | no Zoom. Professionals. | +0.21 | 73 | 56 |





