








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 637 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 232 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,048 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4476 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5304 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3418 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2850 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,338 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 909 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obamasexgaming2003 | 44 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | diver6ty | 15 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | escortgirl - NSCP | 12 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | no Zoom. Professionals. | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Arteur | 6 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obamasexgaming2003 | 890 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | diver6ty | 528 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #3 | no Zoom. Professionals. | 369 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | #A24 Xx_Oh Ziic_xX | 303 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #5 | mikeart405 | 299 | 0.11 | 7 min |





