








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 763 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7259 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6626 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6642 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5509 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,645,794 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2062 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiraz | 77% | 39 |
| #2 | escortgirl - NSCP | 68% | 77 |
| #3 | mikeart405 | 67% | 208 |
| #4 | grosnoscop #N26 | 64% | 76 |
| #5 | obamasexgaming2003 | 63% | 363 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obamasexgaming2003 | 38 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | redd | 14 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | #A24 Xx_Oh Ziic_xX | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | mikeart405 | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | no Zoom. Professionals. | 9 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obamasexgaming2003 | 1264 | 0.17 | 26 min |
| #2 | #A24 Xx_Oh Ziic_xX | 939 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #3 | mikeart405 | 427 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | redd | 322 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | no Zoom. Professionals. | 320 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diver6ty | +6.16 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | obamasexgaming2003 | +1.18 | 59 | 57 |
| #3 | escortgirl - NSCP | +0.74 | 53 | 66 |
| #4 | rxs | +0.37 | 70 | 52 |
| #5 | kiraz | +0.16 | 63 | 52 |





