








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 315 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,239 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5125 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6281 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3925 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3908 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,139,488 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 676 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Linkka | 50% | 107 |
| #2 | tyme | 49% | 116 |
| #3 | tuve | 49% | 53 |
| #4 | BLOXI | 46% | 52 |
| #5 | JaSol | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BLOXI | 46% | 52 |
| #5 | JaSol | 46% | 61 |
| #6 | fffeijjo | 45% | 47 |
| #7 | Jare | 42% | 36 |
| #8 | Sasoni | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuve | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | BLOXI | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | tyme | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Linkka | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | JaSol | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tyme | 585 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | JaSol | 432 | 0.33 | 11 min |
| #3 | Linkka | 311 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | tuve | 267 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #5 | fffeijjo | 226 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BLOXI | +5.72 | 79 | 70 |
| #2 | tuve | +4.05 | 70 | 77 |
| #3 | Sasoni | +2.55 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | Jare | +0.55 | 58 | 68 |
| #5 | JaSol | +0.03 | 38 | 72 |





