








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 774 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 129 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6510 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8487 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6740 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5716 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,591,978 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hibijibijaba | 55% | 98 |
| #2 | Broskiii | 55% | 170 |
| #3 | (sic) | 52% | 298 |
| #4 | Hydra | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | Generalzod03 | 48% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hibijibijaba | 55% | 98 |
| #2 | Broskiii | 55% | 170 |
| #3 | (sic) | 52% | 298 |
| #4 | Hydra | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | Generalzod03 | 48% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (sic) | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Generalzod03 | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Hibijibijaba | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Hydra | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (sic) | 1255 | 0.20 | 35 min |
| #2 | Broskiii | 353 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | Generalzod03 | 294 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | Hibijibijaba | 101 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hydra | 2 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broskiii | +3.03 | 78 | 54 |
| #2 | Hibijibijaba | +1.94 | 66 | 57 |
| #3 | (sic) | +0.90 | 61 | 73 |
| #4 | BrassMonkey | -0.18 | 60 | 60 |
| #5 | Generalzod03 | -1.18 | 55 | 49 |





