








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3175 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3228 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2878 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1975 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,896,278 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Generalzod03 | 56% | 80 |
| #2 | BrassMonkey | 55% | 98 |
| #3 | (sic) | 53% | 175 |
| #4 | Broskiii | 50% | 64 |
| #5 | Bred™ | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BrassMonkey | 55% | 98 |
| #3 | (sic) | 53% | 175 |
| #4 | Broskiii | 50% | 64 |
| #5 | Bred™ | 47% | 43 |
| #6 | Toast | 44% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toast | 22 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Bred™ | 9 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | (sic) | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | BrassMonkey | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Generalzod03 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (sic) | 725 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #2 | Toast | 561 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | BrassMonkey | 259 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Broskiii | 129 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Generalzod03 | 99 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broskiii | +1.96 | 79 | 56 |
| #2 | Hibijibijaba | +1.08 | 69 | 47 |
| #3 | (sic) | +0.55 | 59 | 71 |
| #4 | Toast | -0.43 | 41 | 61 |
| #5 | BrassMonkey | -1.10 | 55 | 56 |





