








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 791 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 378 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 108 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2621 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5140 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2592 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2327 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,469,887 of utility $277 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knocks | 75% | 40 |
| #2 | Jedi Ken | 72% | 53 |
| #3 | Donnie (The Problem) | 71% | 90 |
| #4 | Ochsner | 67% | 46 |
| #5 | ROb | 67% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Mr. Stabby | 51% | 175 |
| #11 | thanny | 51% | 102 |
| #12 | abe | 43% | 97 |
| #13 | c0w | 43% | 108 |
| #14 | Krinker | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Stabby | 22 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | thanny | 13 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | c0w | 12 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Stitch | 11 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | Krinker | 10 | 0.0111 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abe | 644 | 0.31 | 17 min |
| #2 | Mr. Stabby | 425 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Donnie (The Problem) | 324 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | c0w | 258 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | thanny | 214 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stitch | +3.59 | 71 | 43 |
| #2 | thanny | +3.55 | 90 | 50 |
| #3 | Donnie (The Problem) | +3.45 | 78 | 75 |
| #4 | Knocks | +3.43 | 67 | 86 |
| #5 | Sufrad | +2.55 | 89 | 60 |





