








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 632 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 596 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,650 | |
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6799 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8626 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6663 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7403 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,893,179 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nic3# | 59% | 44 |
| #2 | SHIGGAElicious | 56% | 70 |
| #3 | Gamsty | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | Bjorna | 53% | 122 |
| #5 | ig☻r | 52% | 281 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BotKS | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | jEWLEN | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | SHIGGAE | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Gamsty | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Bjorna | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHIGGAE | 644 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | BotKS | 466 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | sQuirtmaker | 406 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | ig☻r | 351 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | Morten N. | 259 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ClNasty | +2.66 | 89 | 66 |
| #2 | SHIGGAE | +1.83 | 61 | 74 |
| #3 | ig☻r | +1.78 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | Gamsty | +1.70 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | Bjorna | +1.54 | 85 | 55 |





