








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 513 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,958 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2035 | 34% |
| Smokes | 526 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 2073 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1324 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $472,650 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | v!Per | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | Magno | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | theory^ | 41% | 17 |
| #4 | JohnBlaze | 41% | 59 |
| #5 | UsedCheeseSpread | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Mia Khalifa | 36% | 11 |
| #9 | bernie | 35% | 17 |
| #10 | 𝖛𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖆𝖓 | 34% | 35 |
| #11 | abK` | 33% | 27 |
| #12 | Swifteh^ | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theory^ | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | SCROBOT | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | abK` | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | bernie | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Magno | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnBlaze | 222 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | SCROBOT | 76 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | sLitH3rs | 58 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | abK` | 50 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | bernie | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCROBOT | +2.33 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | abK` | +2.08 | 60 | 55 |
| #3 | v!Per | +1.22 | 71 | 51 |
| #4 | theory^ | +1.07 | 49 | 69 |
| #5 | bernie | +0.50 | 72 | 63 |





