








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2053 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1254 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1660 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1980 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1764 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,834 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sp00n | 100% | 10 |
| #2 | Longo | 90% | 10 |
| #3 | RossR | 82% | 11 |
| #4 | wingie | 74% | 39 |
| #5 | Whindanski*[p$] | 71% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | SkidZ | 57% | 14 |
| #10 | twitch.tv/f00bie | 56% | 75 |
| #11 | us3r | 55% | 11 |
| #12 | foolio | 51% | 45 |
| #13 | napG0D | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/f00bie | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | NKZ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | foolio | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | SkidZ | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NKZ | 469 | 0.32 | 14 min |
| #2 | twitch.tv/f00bie | 363 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | Holl1s | 346 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | Kris | 129 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | wingie | 128 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whindanski*[p$] | +3.60 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | RossR | +3.15 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | Holl1s | +1.91 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | eM- | +1.37 | 85 | 64 |
| #5 | SkidZ | +1.26 | 55 | 70 |





