








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 578 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 262 matches | ||
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,824 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5644 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4944 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4179 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4057 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $967,273 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whindanski*[p$] | 74% | 35 |
| #2 | us3r | 61% | 41 |
| #3 | eM- | 58% | 79 |
| #4 | wingie | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | twitch.tv/f00bie | 55% | 358 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | wingie | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | twitch.tv/f00bie | 55% | 358 |
| #6 | Kris | 54% | 335 |
| #7 | NKZ | 54% | 288 |
| #8 | foolio | 51% | 276 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/f00bie | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | NKZ | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | foolio | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Kris | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | us3r | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/f00bie | 1625 | 0.21 | 40 min |
| #2 | NKZ | 1584 | 0.25 | 49 min |
| #3 | Kris | 546 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #4 | foolio | 461 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #5 | wingie | 122 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whindanski*[p$] | +2.95 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | Holl1s | +2.34 | 76 | 72 |
| #3 | eM- | +1.49 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | NKZ | +0.92 | 80 | 70 |
| #5 | twitch.tv/f00bie | +0.31 | 61 | 73 |





