








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,861 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 532 | 19% |
| Smokes | 639 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1157 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 533 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $400,682 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alfie | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | Smithy | 60% | 98 |
| #3 | LiganFs | 59% | 37 |
| #4 | horizon | 58% | 83 |
| #5 | hayes | 54% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | horizon | 58% | 83 |
| #5 | hayes | 54% | 52 |
| #6 | :D|D: | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | An1ta | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | Chouby | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smithy | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | horizon | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | hayes | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | LiganFs | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | alfie | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | horizon | 549 | 0.31 | 17 min |
| #2 | Smithy | 368 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | LiganFs | 154 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | alfie | 151 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | hayes | 138 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiganFs | +2.32 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | Smithy | +1.42 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | alfie | +0.60 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | hayes | +0.45 | 81 | 60 |
| #5 | Chouby | +0.27 | 80 | 57 |





