








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2285 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2346 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1491 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2667 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,192 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dios | 65% | 62 |
| #2 | ./ BurneyProMod | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | qyurby | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | Egahn | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | ✪ z@ch | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ✪ JustLetItHappen | 51% | 70 |
| #9 | Ethan_g | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | Awsome | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | VagueDark | 42% | 12 |
| #12 | neight | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pecan50 | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | qyurby | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Awsome | 3 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | ✪ JustLetItHappen | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Dios | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pecan50 | 340 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Dios | 301 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | ✪ JustLetItHappen | 205 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | qyurby | 185 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Egahn | 140 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neight | +4.07 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | qyurby | +3.97 | 84 | 70 |
| #3 | Awsome | +2.08 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | Dios | +1.89 | 68 | 55 |
| #5 | VagueDark | +1.43 | 68 | 43 |





