








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 623 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 204 matches | ||
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2749 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1756 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2403 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1813 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,106,088 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEAST | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | mdLLLLL | 60% | 48 |
| #3 | CLRRRR | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | misknew | 53% | 92 |
| #5 | infrnL | 50% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Zubzion | 47% | 30 |
| #8 | Mr. Miggy | 46% | 57 |
| #9 | PhNatic | 44% | 27 |
| #10 | GudBoi | 33% | 33 |
| #11 | Treat PhDD | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treat PhDD | 4 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | infrnL | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Zubzion | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | misknew | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | mdLLLLL | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | infrnL | 817 | 0.28 | 20 min |
| #2 | misknew | 478 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #3 | ChE | 205 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #4 | CLRRRR | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mr. Miggy | 116 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mdLLLLL | +2.58 | 69 | 68 |
| #2 | Mr. Miggy | +1.97 | 77 | 47 |
| #3 | CLRRRR | +1.75 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | ChE | +1.60 | 73 | 52 |
| #5 | PREACHER | +0.63 | 70 | 55 |





