








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 321 | 18% |
| Smokes | 350 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 663 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 435 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $296,327 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoedini | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Comma | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | Sparkity | 60% | 47 |
| #4 | Deathstrike | 58% | 38 |
| #5 | Hans Olo | 55% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Deathstrike | 58% | 38 |
| #5 | Hans Olo | 55% | 56 |
| #6 | McThiccums | 49% | 55 |
| #7 | Banjo lawrence | 46% | 41 |
| #8 | Kichi | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comma | 11 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | Banjo lawrence | 9 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | McThiccums | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Hans Olo | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Sparkity | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hans Olo | 152 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Comma | 85 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sparkity | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Banjo lawrence | 53 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hoedini | 24 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comma | +5.97 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | Sparkity | +5.27 | 76 | 55 |
| #3 | Hoedini | +3.86 | 51 | 57 |
| #4 | Deathstrike | +1.28 | 64 | 28 |
| #5 | Banjo lawrence | +1.24 | 23 | 44 |





